Monday, July 28, 2008

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes... or Peppers... or something that causes Salmonella

The FDA blamed tomatoes for the salmonella outbreaks. A surprisingly short time later peppers became the culprit. After questions, confusion, and few answers, the CDC has come up with a "two-produce" theory where both plants could be culpable (but neither organization).

I can't help but picture a student trying to justify their incorrect multiple choice answers, "A & B aren't mutually exclusive... so I'm circling both." Unfortunately, that only works if the answer isn't C, and if wrong options don't kill Granny McImmunodeficient.

While we don't know what the answer was for sure (and this seems unlikely to change), we do know that trust is limited (after all, how many "trust-falls" go wrong each year?). Do the FDA and the CDC make the cut for your "reliable" list?


I will mathematically prove to you that 1) The FDA and CDC are equals, and 2) That neither gets a good enough grade to make it into my trust circle (ok... not really, but it's a fun coincidence, so I'm going to write it anyway).

(WARNING: the following formulas may decrease your intelligence)

The law of Averages dictates that if we are going to arbitrarily assign a letter grade, it should be the mean of that letter grade. Hence:
  • A = 95
  • B = 85
  • C = 75
  • D = 65
  • F = 55 (assuming we are gracious on the "F")

Inane Formulas:
The FDA:
  • F: 55
  • D: 65
  • A: 95
Total: 215/300
Percentage: 71.7%
Grade: C-


The CDC
  • C: 75
  • D: 65
  • C: 75
Total of 215/300
Percentage: 71.7%
Grade: C-


Math has spoken and the FDA and CDC get a whopping C-. I expect at least a "B+" out of anyone who may hold my life in their hands at some point.

At least my car is taken care of (AAA = 95%).

Monday, July 21, 2008

Oil VS Alternative Energy = Republicans VS Democrats

     This has been a hot topic lately, and has lead to heated debates, which in turn have lead to... well, not much.
     Let me preface this with a little info about me: I profess NO political party. I am quite cynical and sarcastic. I don't mean to offend you (but I might anyway).

The Two Opposing Views (somewhat simplified and exaggerated):

     R) Let's keep oil so we don't mess up our economy. We'll drill more, make it cheap again, and everyone will be happy.
     D) Let's invest in Alternative Energy (biodiesel) to save the environment.



     Obviously, these views disagree with each other. Not only do they propose different solutions, but they address separate problems.
     Camp D's motivation is to save the environment.
     Camp R wants to help our economy.

Stubborn Lack of Compromise leads to Stand-Still (quite simplified and exaggerated):
     If you are of view-D, you hate people from view-R (and vice-versa). Each side unbendingly refuses to listen to the other side or to compromise in any way, because their viewpoint is the only logical one.
     Why do we think that way? Each thinks that their motivation is more important than the other's.
     Environmentalists loath capitalists for destroying Earth just to save a buck.
     Capitalists hate that environmentalists place bugs' needs above our own.

Flaw in Political Problem-Solving (slightly simplified and exaggerated):
     We have a representative government. This worked well for many years until a crazy thing happened: Government expanded so much that you had to be a scholar to know what issues you wanted your representative to represent. This lead to media dominance of issues. Whatever issues got press, during any given campaign, were the ones that got all the attention. They were the hot topics. They have drifted over the years through Taxes, Education, Taxes, Abortion, Taxes, Foreign Policy/Trade, Taxes, Environment, Taxes, Economy, Taxes, Health Care, Taxes, the Deficit/Budget, Taxes, other various issues, and Taxes.
     Countless issues were relatively ignored, meaning that progress in those areas wouldn't help job-retention (AKA reelection). If your boss fired everyone with a messy desk but kept slackers and hard-workers alike, who would clean their desk and who would just work hard?
     So, to help our representatives we've supplied them with Platforms. A State simply elects a letter (usually D or R) and the representative runs with that letter embroidered on their newly pressed suit/pants-suit. They have all their decisions made for them based solely on that letter. Granted, every now-and-then a politician actually thinks and votes according to their brain, but we quickly reprimand them for not simply being a robotic-R or a dedicated-D and elect someone else next year.
     Our representatives have learned this so well that they now know that all they have to do to ensure reelection is to simply memorize all their preconceived notions, stick to them like the crud that clings to early morning eyelashes, and be more stubborn than... well... a politician.
     Electing one letter over the other simply bounces our representation between a finite-alphabet of ideas.

Answer (Super-Simplified only):
     What would be nice is a form of government where people who represent the masses gather information from the masses, gain ideas and insights, and then meet together to identify the problem, discuss possible solutions, and then vote on the best provided idea.
     What a bizarre idea!?! It almost seems too simple and old-fashioned... almost like it was conceived in the late 1700s.

CONCLUSION (about Oil that is):
     I believe Camp-D is wrong. Biofuel will not help us. Simply researching it has accounted for manifold increases in the cost of consumables (things we eat, or things that are fed to the things we eat).
     I believe Camp-R is wrong. Drilling for Oil is finite and postpones the inevitable.
     Both have good motivations: Don't pollute, be independent to fix the economy.
     Now, lets try my revolutionary idea (literally... from the time of the "Revolution"):
          Identify the Problem(s): Oil messing up Economy. Oil Polluting.
          Discuss Alternatives (more than just the 2 provided to us by R & D):
  • R: Drill More

  • D: Biofuel

  • 1: Other Alternative Energies
    -Nuclear
    -Fuel Cells
    -Solar
    -Wind
    -Methane from Landfills
    -More that Scientific-type people would know better than me

  • 2: Stimulate the Economy in other ways making Fuel prices matter less

  • 3: Use less Energy
    -Invest in energy-smart devices and research
    -Ration energy (not my favorite)

  • 4: Harness the Hot-Air produced by both the House and Senate

  • 5: Fuel America with that Goo from Ghostbusters 2

  • 6: Other crazy ideas we haven't thought of (but maybe someone in "the masses" has)

  • *I'm not saying these are the best/only list of ideas: this is an example of what Congress should do- but with many minds and inquiries to the masses.


  •      Then, let's decide which is best by voting. You could even pick 2 or 3. I personally would propose: Drill More now, start Nuclear, and research other Alternative Energies to evaluate which ones could make sense (I am also willing to change my mind during discussion if someone proposes something better).
         Then, let's actually DO something!



    Be Logical. Use Common Sense. Stop being so Stubborn.
    I'm not just talking to politicians. I'm talking to you too.

    Oh... one more thing: read & research things you get in emails. Only forward them if A) they are true & B) you agree with them.